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Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Ways Of Seeking Suitable Emotional Abuse Counseling

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By Patty Goff


Abuse refers to a behavior which is designed to control or subjugate another person through verbal, fright, humiliation and bodily assault. Emotional abuse counseling is aimed at assisting individuals affected by any kind of abuse perceived to be causing emotional pain. Such strategies helps individuals faced with abuses ranging from constant criticism to verbal abuse to other behaviors such as intimidation, manipulation and refusal to be ever pleased.

It is like brain wash that is, systematically wearing away at the self-confidence of the victims, sense of worth, self concept and trust in their attitudes and perceptions. Whether this is done by constant intimidation, belittling and berating or under guise of teaching, guidance or advice, the results are often similar. In most cases the recipient of such abuses loses all sense of self as well as remnant of personal value. This psychological torture cuts to every core of a person thereby creating scars which are far deeper and more lasting than physical ones.

Emotional abuses have been categorized into dimensions such as minimizing, aggressive and denying. Aggressive is defined as a form of cruelty involving calling nicknames, blaming, intimidating, accusing and ordering. These behaviors are viewed as obvious and direct.

Aggressive abuse may also takes a direct form where abuser may be disguised as helping. They criticize offers solution, advising, probing, analyzing and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to assist. In some situations, such behaviors may try to control, belittle or degrade rather than helping. The underlying principle being I know it beat attitude. This situation is not appropriate thereby subjecting unequal footing in a peer relationship.

This takes a picture in which an abuser may be distinguished as a helper. In their effort to deliver such assistance, they might criticizes, analyses, advising or offers solutions as well as questioning their sincerity of offering such help. This behavior is seen as attempts to belittle, demean or control the victims rather than proving help. Individuals giving such assistance often have the I known it all perception. This is inappropriate as it creates unequal footing.

The first form of denial occurs by invalidation whereby the abuser tends to distorts or undermines the perception of the victim about the world. This can be witnessed in a situation where the recipient may confront the abuser about an incident and the abusers insisting that they did not say such information or are not aware of things being said.

Another form of such incidences is withholding. This can be witnessed in a situation where an individual refuses to communicate, emotionally withdrawing or refusing to listen as a punishment. Such actions are referred to as the quiet treatment by psychologists. The abuser might opt to use countering, where he or she views the victim as their extension and denies any opinion that is against theirs.

Trivializing occurs when a person or abuser argues that things said or done by the victims are inconsequential or not important. It is considered as a more subtle of minimization. Significantly, denying and minimizing can be damaging to those subjected to emotional abuse. It may result into lowering self esteem, creating conflict, invalidation of reality, feelings and experiences leading to individuals questioning as well as mistrusting their perceptions and emotions about experiences.




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